Reflections on Easter

Today is a day for new beginnings. I'm looking out my window at an early morning world, newly washed by rain. The mist is rising from some hills in the near distance. Birds are everywhere, and their songs fill the air.

Many people much wiser than I have said a lot about the deeper meanings of Crucifixion and Resurrection, and I don't believe I have much to add. (By the way, to me, the themes of Death and Re-birth are not owned by the Christian tradition--they are a gift to us all, so I speak in that spirit.)

However, I do want to say this: a big truth presenting itself to me, in my life, right now, is that I cannot be reborn if I don't let go.

I have a tendency to cling to old ideas, old routines that no longer serve me, my own story, and the drama I've created around it.

But worse than that stuff (which most of us struggle with), I hold on to self-hatred and judgment for continually falling short of my standards for myself.

This creates a pattern of me feeling ashamed, resolving to "do better", actually "doing better" through suppression and control, not being able to sustain my own excessive strivings, falling again, and thus the cycle continues.

I feel that today is a good day to let go.

And as an infant does not make any effort to grow, I too have faith, that by letting go (of resistance, of judgment, of hatred, of anger and even of "the good stuff", but that's an essay for another day), I will be reborn in every moment.

It is not my efforts that cause my re-birth, it is grace.

And in this moment, I accept, I allow and am made new.