Ever heard of the book/movie, "The Accidental Tourist"? (Or maybe, you've seen the movie or read the book.)
Well, right now, I think I've been an accidental liar. Come to think of it, most people are accidental liars. (But, "most people", I'm not responsible for--just me.)
What I mean by this is, just like a lot of people, I have my fears, my ego, my aspirations. And often, to ward off fear, or because my ego wants attention, or because I wish desperately that something were true, I accidentally lie.
I say accidentally, because I am also lying to myself. Maybe, I make myself believe that I know something when I don't know it, or that I'm not lying, I'm just engaged in positive self-talk.
I'm not being hard on myself about this. It's just a condition I'd like to avoid as much as I am able.
So, I might be posting less, and I might seem less self-assured. Because, I'm not sure about much of anything. But I'm grateful that I can be truthful about it.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
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