Thursday, January 29, 2009

What If I Never See You Again?

I read the following blog post today: What Would You Do If You Only Had a Short Time to Live, and it got me thinking.

It's a good question. One hears it in personal/spiritual development circles a lot. It can clarify our priorities.

But a question that's proved more valuable to me personally is, "How would I treat a loved one if I knew these were our last moments together?"

After my father died, this question asserted itself in my mind, in my life, and in my relationships. Even when I'm in the middle of a heated argument with my husband, there's that little voice saying, "Are you sure you want to be acting this way? What if this were it--your last moments with him?"

There were so many little ways I could have been nicer to my dad. I could have spent more time with him, could have apologized for the horrible things I said during my turbulent teens.

But I try not to dwell on these things. I cannot change the past.

What I can do is choose, moment to moment, to treat those I love as if these were the last moments we might spend together.

Because, in fact, they might be.


  1. What a great reminder! Because we never know what the future will bring.

  2. Crabby,

    So true. Had I known that the last time I saw my dad walking, moving, and easily communicating was going to be the last time, believe me, I would have behaved very differently. But, as I said, too late to change that. All I (or anyone) can do is try to treat people in such a way that we have no regrets. And, when we slip up (as we most certainly will), to see it quickly, apologize and/or make amends, and move on.

    By the way, enjoyed your "Me-Tox" post--will comment on it later! Your writing is SO funny and educational, easy feat.

  3. Crabby,

    Boy, is my face red! (Actually, it gets that way a lot--Irish skin.)

    I DO love your writing, but I just realized that Merry wrote the ME-Tox post. I thought it was you, because she was so crabby.